My Stepfather

Well, it's been a bit more than a week since posting. That's because it's been a very tough week for my family and myself. While I've stayed away from the very personal side of my life and stuck to running, I'm going to go out on a limb and change that. I guess what's the point of blogging if not to share myself, feeling, emotions and all. I'll get back to the running stuff over the next few days - there's time for that....

My stepfather, always a kind friend to me, devoted husband to my mom, and caring father, grandfather and friend to many, passed away this past Friday. I'd known him nearly 30 years, having met him when I was just 17 or 18. While he had been bravely battling lung cancer for months, in the end, the disease just went to work and from last Wednesday through Friday moved way too rapidly to do anything. Fortunately, he passed peacefully in his sleep and told my mom he loved her one last time.

Having been lucky enough up till now, I've never experienced someone very close passing away. What I've taken away more and guess would like to share is the realization that people have so many different sides to them. And it's so important and valuable to get to learn about them and celebrate those parts while we have the chance. My stepfather was an amazing cook, an incredibly well read and educated man and wonderful sharer of knowledge. For better or worse, that's what we often thought of when we thought of him. The reality - and I learned this as friends and family got up to share their feelings - is that he was so much more. He was a close friend and confidante to his companions and he enjoyed debating every facet of life with them from the best place to buy coffee to why we should be more patient with our politicians. To another person my age, he was a soothing and humorous force at a difficult time in life. And to one of his closest relatives, he was someone to enjoy sporting events with, good wine and the finer things in life.

At the end of the day, he taught me something that we often laughed about. He did things his way, without compromise and without regrets. He didn't extend invitations but you were always welcome and invited. And, as my wife so eloquently put it, once you found a way inside that big heart of his, you were there forever. And he's in ours.